Bringing Your Whole Self to Work

This question came up at the 2025 Women in Product (WIP) event and was met by murmuring agreement across the room. It reveals a common knowledge that many people feel split into two: the work self, who performs, and the personal self, who feels. This moment sparked a deeper reflection for us that the leaders our teams need now aren’t performing a part—they’re integrating the whole. That’s what makes them appear “authentic,” but it’s not just about being raw or unfiltered. It’s about being deliberate and knowing when the situation calls for openness. 

This makes the question not, "How can I bring my whole self to work?” but rather “How can I tap into the right parts of myself when needed?” It’s not about being everything all the time—integration and, to a great extent, adaptability as a leader, means knowing which parts of ourselves best serve the moment, our goals, and the people we lead.

For years now, leaders have been told to “be authentic.” That advice has limits. First, it creates pressure for leaders searching for the elusive “authentic self” in environments that don’t always support full self-expression. Second, when leaders need to adapt their style to be effective in some situations, they may struggle with feelings of imposture syndrome, performance anxiety, and feeling they are not being true to who they really are.   

Scholars such as Herminia Ibarra caution against rigid views of authenticity that can freeze growth. Leadership often requires trying on new behaviors before they feel natural—a process that’s not fake, but continually formative.

It starts with self-awareness and expands into intentional action. Here are several practices that emerged from our session at WIP and ongoing work with leaders: 

Begin by identifying the energies or leadership styles that come most naturally to you. Are you someone who thrives on vision and possibility? Do you bring clarity and structure? Are you deeply relational or action-oriented? We often use a framework inspired by Erica Fox’s archetypes from her book Winning from Within: 

• The Dreamer imagines what’s possible. 
• The Thinker brings clarity and structure. 
• The Lover connects and empathizes. 
• The Warrior protects and drives action. 

These archetypes aren’t labels but rather they’re lenses. They help leaders understand their natural preferences and sources of energy. You can use whatever language or framework speaks to you. The key is to identify and articulate what gives you energy and what drains it. 

Once you know your strengths, ask: 

• How does this serve me, and how might it hold me back? 
• Where do I tend to over-rely on one energy? 
• Which archetype feels underdeveloped, underused, or uncomfortable for me? 
• What behaviors might I need to flex to move closer to my leadership goals? 

Growth doesn’t mean abandoning who you are; it means expanding your range. 

Integration isn’t just about fixing your gaps. It’s also about doing more of what works really well for you. When we assess leadership potential, we often find that leaders grow faster when they lean into their natural preferences consciously and deliberately, while building the capacity to activate other parts of themselves when needed.

No leader needs to embody every archetype perfectly. That’s where collaboration comes in. Surround yourself with people who bring different natural superpowers—and learn to recognize not only what those strengths are best suited for but also when their strengths are what the moment calls for. If you lead others, it is becoming increasingly important to understand what motivates them and adapt your style to bring out their best. This is adaptive leadership. 

Leadership today isn’t about choosing between your personal and professional self. It’s about reclaiming the full spectrum of who you are—and learning to lead from that place with discernment. 

The most impactful leaders aren’t performing a role. They’re skilled at integrating who they are personally with how they show up professionally.  

Your move: What part of yourself have you stunted or been leaving at the door—and what would happen if you brought just 10% more of it into how you lead?